Today's Words Of Glass

Mommy confession.. I have faked a poop so that I could lock myself in the bathroom to get a few minutes away from my toddler and husband. I'm not proud, but you reach a point that survival mode kicks in. Sometimes you just need... five... minutes... please... where there isn't anyone asking you for anything. Don't get me wrong. My hubby helps out a lot with our Lil Man. Truly, he does. But Lil Man responds differently to him than me. Hubby can literally sit on the couch all day while Lil Man is usually content - not asking him for ANYTHING. Yet, when it comes to me, I can't sit for 5 minutes without Lil Man grunting or motioning his needs. If I try to take my husband's approach and try to just do 'my thing', the grunts and motions get louder and stronger until I take care of whatever it is that he needs. So I reached a point that I just needed those precious five minutes just to recoup before I continued to tackle the 'no, don't touch that, st

That's the question I've been asking myself lately... How bad do you want it? I'm not sure I have the answer. And only testing my will power and motivation will give me the answer. I signed up for the marathon. The training begins - and it snows. I LOVE snow. But I'm not a fan of running in the cold or long distances on the treadmill. How bad do I want it? I also want to drop a few recently added pounds and develop some muscle tone. I love chocolate and sweets. I hate strength training. How bad do I want it? I've signed up for some personal training and some classes at the gym. I'm starting my eating plan tomorrow. I have a 5 mile run planned on the treadmill tomorrow morning. Of course at the moment my belly is full of Christmas candy and fatty foods. So it's easy to say I'll start my eating plan and my workout plans. When the cravings start and I start bargaining with myself 'just one - one piece that's all' or when I'm tire

This year has been so much fun. We've let Lil Man open a gift a day for the last few days. He got so much stuff from the grandparents, that we decided to let him have some gifts early. The last few days, he's been shall we say adventurous. This weekend, Hubby noticed something. Notice something missing?  Yep, there used to be ornaments. We have no idea where they all went. I think (but I'm not sure) that Lil Man moved them to the other side of the tree?  Yesterday, I heard a noise and found him with this. Yes, that would be the watering elf from the tree. Yep, he got the watering elf from the tree and was swinging it like a bat.  It's probably a good thing that the tree only has a few more days in the house. :)

Wow, this week has been busy. Dentist appointment for Lil Man. He has 10 teeth. He didn't care much for the visit, but he liked the monitor of the fish swimming around. Then there was the follow up Dr. appt for me. Waiting with me at the Dr's Office  Thankfully, Lil Man was cooperative during my Dr. visit. Dr. said I wasn't 100% well, but well enough that I could run and train for a marathon if I wanted to.  I have made more cookies this week than I have in my entire life! I made some for Hubby to take to the office. Made some for the mail carrier. Made some for the paper delivery guy. And I made several dozen for us to munch on over the weekend.  I have to say that the Mint Chocolate chip were pretty tasty! Yum. I'm enjoying them now, because once they are all gone, there won't be any more for awhile.  But today so far has been productive. I made tons of cookies/brownie bites, then cleaned, worked on my freelance stuff while Lil Man napped. His s

I heard the crinkle of paper and knew Lil Man was sneaking looking at the presents. I looked around the corner to find him touching them. He saw me and 'hid'. I don't think he has grasped the concept of hiding yet. Hiding Is that just too cute or what? I can't believe how much he has grown. Where does the time go? It seems like yesterday he was just learning to crawl. Now he is running, climbing and becoming his own little person. I see a lot of me in him (uh oh, payback!). I also see my Hubby in him. He adores his daddy. Whatever Daddy is doing he wants to do. And Hubby is an awesome father. He definitely has the patience of the two of us. By the end of the day I'm at a deficit when it comes to patience. So it's nice to see Hubby step in and take over. Most nights he does bath/bedtime for Lil Man. Yep, you read that right. MOST nights he puts Lil Man to bed. He reads him a bedtime story and puts him to bed. No complaints from this mommy! Now that

So, Lil Man and I had to go out (yet again) to get some supplies to finish my little project. I was not thrilled about having to go out on a Saturday morning and this close to Christmas. But we made it there safely, got what we needed and came straight home. He was playing, not so quietly, while I put the finishing touches on my project. A few tears were shed, a call to Mom was made, but I did it. By all crafting standards it isn't awesome, but for this non crafty girl who wants to be crafty, I'm pretty pleased with myself. My First Pinterest Project

I just did my first Pinterest Project! I would post a picture, but my Mom says it needs a ribbon and I'm not the kind of girl that has ribbons and bows in the house. Chocolate yes - ribbons no. So, I'll go buy some ribbon and add it - if I can tie a bow. Every time I try to tie a bow it turns out upside down. Mom said to google it and watch a video (ha). If it were only that simple for me. Computers I can do. Bows not so much. I destroyed the kitchen and I'm sure it took much longer than it was supposed to take to do this project, but it turned out ok. I'll take a pic once I go to the store and get some ribbon, find a video on how to tie it, call my mom numerous times as she tries to instruct me yet again how to do it (as I remind her of the numerous times that I had to tell her to click on the Big E to get to the internet - we each have our strengths and weaknesses). Funny thing is, she's master the Big E, time will tell if I can master tying a bow. ;)

For those of you concerned about my possible nervous breakdown last week, and my mental state, rest assured I am OK.  (and no this isn't the cake icing talking). Although I am eating cake icing as I type this. Yup, straight up on a spoon from the container. I needed to work through some things and get to the root of what was troubling me so. And I did. I've come to the conclusion that doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting different results truly is crazy. So I'm making some modifications. I'm   trying, notice that I said trying to stop seeking approval of others for my every action. Granted, it is a work in progress. But I'm trying; it's a start. I've decided to take care of my family's needs, but I'm also taking my needs into consideration. (hello, cake icing! just kidding). So I'm rearranging my schedule. I'm keeping Lil Man's needs (and Hubby's) in perspective, but I'm also adding my needs into the e

It appears we've lost baby Jesus. Lil Man got a Little People nativity set from his Aunt. He has loved it (especially since it plays music). He has constantly and I...do...mean... CONSTANTLY pressed the button to make the music play over and over. (Someone in this house, and it wasn't me, turned it off when he was watching Lil Man this weekend). But I noticed yesterday that the baby Jesus is missing.  I've looked in the obvious places. I found the bassinet but so far no baby Jesus to be found. I'm just hoping Lil Man didn't toss him in the trash! I haven't checked the leggo bin yet... maybe baby Jesus is in the leggos...

So, my Lil Man who is never still, although I've been told NUMEROUS times that he comes by it honest. Hmm.. I wonder where he got that from? Anyway, before I could even get down my cold cup of green tea (and the reason it was cold was because I was interrupted so many times that I didn't get a chance to drink it but that's another post), he decided to rip the wallpaper off the wall and put the tiny pieces in his car where he proceeded to 'drive' them around. What's a mother to do at this point, but sigh and say "No, we don't rip the wallpaper off the wall". Thankfully, at this time, the thrill of ripping wallpaper has left him and he has moved on to the other things.. the poor dog and the Christmas tree don't stand a chance...

I skipped boot camp last night to spend some time with the family. I worked the majority of the weekend on my freelance jobs, and we ate most of our meals separate today. So it was nice to eat dinner together. Lil Man watches Hubby's every move. It's adorable. After dinner I made peanut butter cookies. They were enjoyed by all. After we put Lil Man to bed, Hubby and I wrapped Christmas presents. :)

Maybe I'm having a nervous breakdown? I'm almost positive that I had it penciled in for many years from now. But it feels like things are all topsy turvey. So maybe it's happening now.. I've been here for over 5 years. I enjoy it here. It's not the South. It never will be. And there are parts of the South that I miss very much. But there are also things here that I like better than the South. So all in all, I thought I had reached a place that I felt settled and content. Why all of the sudden do I feel as though that I don't fit anywhere? What's going on that has me so rattled? Maybe it comes down to the fact that I wanted to do this marathon with someone, with a buddy, to experience the training and the race with a friend and not alone. Maybe the reality is finally hitting me that it was never really real. I didn't have a best friend running partner that I met to run with. I had someone who met me to run occasionally, but it wasn't what I had

You'd think as many times as I've been rejected in my life that rejection wouldn't hurt anymore. Really, I can't count the number of times that I've been rejected, or slighted, or been on the receiving end of cruel words. I'm almost 40 for pete's sake. Rejection shouldn't bring tears anymore, but it still does. It just seems like I've been faced with it a lot lately. It started with the Running and has seemed to carry over into other parts of my life. I have spent most of my life on the sidelines watching other people. That's what happened with the marathon.   Once again, I'm on the side as others do things that I want to do. I trained. I had to have an unexpected surgery. I got injured. I couldn't run. It happens. It isn't the end of  the world. But what many don't realize is that there are numerous times in my life that I am on the sidelines, watching, wishing I was the one 'out there' - not the one watching. . But