Today's Words Of Glass

I'm not going to lie. Early today, I was a mess. I'm a very 'scheduled' person. And I'm currently at a place in my life of real uncertainty about some situations and it's totally stressing me out. I'm trying to 'get a grip'. But when Lil Man didn't nap today, I loaded us up in the car and drove to Sonic. He fell asleep on the way home. So I found myself sitting in the car, in front of the house, eating a ginormous Oreo blast. Who knew a 'large' was so large. But there I sat, stuffing my face full of sugary gooeyness. Two hours later, I'm irritated that I did that because I'm in 'training'. Granted, I'm just running a 10 miler, but a race is still a race. And my training runs may be difficult to get through this weekend with my lack of dietary nutrition these last couple of days. I should probably come clean that today my breakfast was pretty much brownie batter donuts. But, my internet friends, just because today...

Let's just say I fell off the wagon for a few days. It would have been ok, if I'd eaten sweets in moderation. And honestly, I won't even type here just how much sugar I've had the last few days over the holiday weekend. The reality is that it was a choice, and I CHOSE to eat the ridiculously huge amounts of sugar. I wasn't stressed. I wasn't eating from boredom or sadness or happiness. This wasn't an emotional eating binge. It was really just that I wanted the sugar. I chose to eat it, and then once I did, I continued to eat it. And now I have another choice. I can beat myself up over and over, but what's done is done. I can throw in the towel, and just say forget it. Or I can begin again. I'm choosing the last option and beginning again. I really do want to get healthier, and I would oh so love to be able to loose my gut (or some of it). And I know that sugar is a drug, an addiction, and a pleasure of mine. But I also need to remind myself that ...