Today's Words Of Glass

As he kisses me on the cheek, and gives me a hug, Lil Man says "Momma, I love you so much. Love you more than school."  I know that's his way of saying he's going to miss me when he goes to kindergarten this year. Kindergarten, how did that happen? I remember when Hubby and I were trying to conceive. I honestly never thought I would be able to have children. I had tried my best to prepare myself for that scenario. We talked of fertility options. We even went and got 'checked out', but I just couldn't do it. I knew that emotionally, I just wasn't at a place to take that route. The fertility Dr had suggested

My son was in speech from a very young age. I knew that he wasn't 'babbling' the way that his peers were. So I pushed for testing. He qualified. Long story short, I pushed for testing again when he was older and got him moved to work with a speech therapist ( at a younger age than most would have ). He tested out of speech. But when he was 2, his speech teacher suggested that I put him in preschool. I hadn't even entertained the idea! I planned to put him in at 3, but not 2. After some discussion with Hubby, I checked into it. Talk about being nervous. This was the first time that I had been away from Lil Man, and the first time that I had trusted anyone to care for him. It was the best thing ever - for us .

I'll come clean - I like things my way, done my way and in the time frame that I want them done. I'm working on changing and being more flexible, but let's get real, it's not going to happen overnight. So I shouldn't be surprised that Lil Man is cut from the same cloth. ( I might add that although Hubby probably denies it, he also likes things done in his way and his time frame also. I do think though that his time frame is a little slower than mine. I tend to want things done now verses later ). But Lil Man being 3.5 can definitely be a little strong-willed at times. And these last couple of weeks, it's been battles over the little things - like getting dressed - time to leave the house - time for bed - what he doesn't want to eat etc. I think you get the picture. And by the end of the day it can truly be exhausting ( Can I get an amen? ) And does anyone else feel a little inadequate at times? I mean, I'm helping my son learn how to cope with sit...

What they don't tell you about Motherhood... They don't tell you that you will feel love in a way that you've never felt before, to the point that it almost hurts at times. They don't tell you that watching your child struggle at something is one of the most painful feelings in the world. They don't tell you that watching them gain their independence is one of the most gratifying yet scariest feelings ever. They don't tell you that when they hurt you feel it in every fiber of your being. They don't tell you that even as they get older, you'll still check on them in the middle of the night to make sure they are still breathing. They don't tell you that there will be days that you will feel like the worst parent in the world, that you wonder if you are cut out for this, and  if you'll ever figure out how to do this. Because the truth is ( in my world) , there are some days that I wonder if I will ever figure this parenting thing out. ...

So Lil Man, at almost 2 years old,  is really showing his independence. Just where does he get this stubborn streak?!? Oh yeah... probably from me. My mid-morning started off with me chasing him to change his dirty diaper. I could smell him from across the room. He, however, has learned that if he squats and bounces he can push the poop around and apparently it feels 'funny'. This has become a 'fun' thing to do after pooping. It isn't so much fun for Mommy to clean up squished poop. So I chased him. Caught him. Changed him. Released him. But then it was getting closer to the dreaded lunch time. I wasn't sure what to feed him today. See, he's been showing some... shall we say... resistance to whatever I give him (even if it is something that I KNOW he likes). Well, he wanted some yogurt. I decided why not and let him have it. He ate 3, yes 3, gogurts and then a small cup of yogurt at 10:30am. I knew this would pretty much mess up lunch, but I didn't wan...

Busy doesn't begin to describe it. A week or so ago, I lost my 'main' freelance job. It came out of no where. I just got up one day to work, opened my email, and boom that was it. She lost a client and she had to let me go. I was disappointed, but I totally understood. Sooooo.. I applied for several jobs hoping I could find one to fill that spot. Can you believe that I got 3 jobs in one week? Great right! But I wasn't expecting that to happen. And I really wasn't expecting to get an email from the lady (that I really like working for that had to let me go) saying that she needed 5 hours this week if I could do it. So in addition to the 3 new jobs, I still had 5 hours to work for her. So I went from being busy to insanely busy. Two of my jobs are writing jobs. I am so very slow (apparently) and it's taking more time than I anticipated. Factor in the fact that Lil Man is sick, it's really stressful right now. Hubby has been sick. Lil Man got a fever yester...

So my kid hates Kindermusik. He's a little behind on his speech, but he is constantly 'on the go'. When I heard about Kindermusik, I thought it would be a good thing for him. I knew that it worked on motor skills and could also help with communication. And since Lil Man is all about movement, I thought it would be the perfection combination. NOT! Our preview visit was a disaster. He spent most of the time just glued to me. But I discussed it with Hubby, and we decided this was something that we needed to do. With him being an only child and no family nearby, we feel that it's important to give him as many opportunities with other kids as we can. But Kindermusik is definitely beyond his comfort zone. I'm not the most outgoing person myself. I can be (at times), but I can also be incredibly shy. And I see that in my son. I don't want to force him into things, but I want to at least give him the opportunity to try, even if it's a little uncomfortable for b...