Skip to main content

Where Has The Time Gone?

By
As he kisses me on the cheek, and gives me a hug, Lil Man says "Momma, I love you so much. Love you more than school."  I know that's his way of saying he's going to miss me when he goes to kindergarten this year. Kindergarten, how did that happen?

I remember when Hubby and I were trying to conceive. I honestly never thought I would be able to have children. I had tried my best to prepare myself for that scenario. We talked of fertility options. We even went and got 'checked out', but I just couldn't do it. I knew that emotionally, I just wasn't at a place to take that route.

The fertility Dr had suggested
no, he told me - to stop running. So I did. And I was miserable. Running/exercise is my stress relief. So when I was in this very stressful situation (and month after month not getting pregnant), I asked Hubby if we could just stop (trying). Let me train for my first Half Marathon. And we both decided that's what we should do.

So, I started running more than I had ever run in my life. I was not a distance runner, but I was committed, and here I went full force into training.

In the middle of training something felt 'off', and test after test came back negative, but I still wasn't sure what the issue was. Maybe it was all of the running? Maybe that's why I felt the way that I did? But one night I decided to take another pregnancy test even though the last 3 had been negative. And this one was a faint positive. What?!?! Hubby didn't believe it.

So I waited until the next morning and took a digital test that showed pregnant.

I'll spare you the 33+ hour labor with over 4 hours of pushing and the physical difficulties that I had afterward. Who gets put on bedrest after labor? This girl right here!



But fast forward to the present and my baby, yes my baby is starting kindergarten.

It's going too fast. In the blink of an eye he went from a tiny infant that demanded everything from me to this incredible amazing unique thoughtful little boy with a heart of gold and a mind full of creativity.

He amazes me every day with some invention or saying or act of kindness.

I'm finding that one of the most difficult parts of parenting is letting go. And I'm not going to lie, this milestone by far is one of the hardest that I've dealt with. And I'm sure there will be more that are harder that this one.

But this is where I am at the moment.

I'm not ready, but I know I have to be. And for him I will be.




Writing is one of my passions, and I'm stepping out there on faith to follow my dream. If you like this blog or this post, please take a moment to share it with friends. 

Share this on Facebook?


Vote For Me @ The Top Mommy Blogs Directory







Please Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you make a purchase using the affiliate link.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2 Weeks Post Mohs Surgery

By
May 26, 2021 3:40pm  Finally, the phone call that I'd been waiting on. It was the Medical Center. ( Finally, we can schedule my surgery. ) She tells me who she is, and then tells me that she has a cancellation for tomorrow. ( Me stammering... )  "Ok, but I was thinking the end of June."   Then I hear "We just had a moment to look at your file. We really don't think that you should wait. We really think you should come in tomorrow at 8:15am" ( Me stammering again ) "Ok, I'll be there."  Wait, what? My mind is all over the place. I'm supposed to work. How am I going to get our son to school? Will my husband be able to go with me on such short notice. I expected this to be the end of June, not tomorrow. I'm not prepared! I was overcome with emotion.  May 26, 2021 Surgery Day I woke up at 1am with a horrible headache. By the time we arrived at the surgery center, I was definitely a bundle of nerves. I got checked in, went through the usual ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Feel All the Feels Then Deal

By
Not what I expected when the phone rang. It was a routine dermatology appointment.  "Do you have any concerns?" “Yes, a small spot on my face. It comes and goes. Two weeks ago it had disappeared (again). So I'm actually glad that it’s back.”  It was the size of a pin head. It was teeny tiny. A nuisance, but not something that really seemed to bother me. “I suspect that it’s skin cancer.”  “So, we just burn if off, right?” “No, it needs to be cut out and sent to the lab.” I was not prepared for this. It’s on my lip! She’s going to cut a hole in my lip! She warns me that the shot is going to hurt and possibly a lot. She tells me this several times. (I’m thinking surely it can’t be that bad.)  I was wrong.  It hurt.  A lot.  I’m creeped out at the thoughts of her taking a chunk off of my face at the top of my lip. I’m even more creeped out as she tells me she’s going to burn it to stop the bleeding. Time and time again I hear the sizzle and the smell is n...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's Been a Hot Minute

By
It's been a hot minute since I've written anything.... over a year. Between being a mom, full time student, and a substitute teacher during a pandemic, writing hasn't been a priority. More than once,  I've felt like I was in survival mode with classes. I didn't expect early block  to be so intense.  I admit that I broke down and cried several times this semester with feeling overwhelmed. But, I endured until the end, and I got straight A's for the semester. I'm proud of myself that I didn't give up. I am enrolled in 2 summer class, and 4 fall classes and studying for standardized tests that I must pass before I can begin my student internship.  I will be close to 50 when I graduate. Am I too old to do this? Who starts a career at 50????? I guess I do. I don't know what's going to happen when I graduate. I do know that I am enjoying the course work, and I'm enjoying being able to put what I have learned into practice as a substitute.  This sch...
Post a Comment
Read more