Skip to main content

Where Has The Time Gone?

As he kisses me on the cheek, and gives me a hug, Lil Man says "Momma, I love you so much. Love you more than school."  I know that's his way of saying he's going to miss me when he goes to kindergarten this year. Kindergarten, how did that happen?

I remember when Hubby and I were trying to conceive. I honestly never thought I would be able to have children. I had tried my best to prepare myself for that scenario. We talked of fertility options. We even went and got 'checked out', but I just couldn't do it. I knew that emotionally, I just wasn't at a place to take that route.

The fertility Dr had suggested
no, he told me - to stop running. So I did. And I was miserable. Running/exercise is my stress relief. So when I was in this very stressful situation (and month after month not getting pregnant), I asked Hubby if we could just stop (trying). Let me train for my first Half Marathon. And we both decided that's what we should do.

So, I started running more than I had ever run in my life. I was not a distance runner, but I was committed, and here I went full force into training.

In the middle of training something felt 'off', and test after test came back negative, but I still wasn't sure what the issue was. Maybe it was all of the running? Maybe that's why I felt the way that I did? But one night I decided to take another pregnancy test even though the last 3 had been negative. And this one was a faint positive. What?!?! Hubby didn't believe it.

So I waited until the next morning and took a digital test that showed pregnant.

I'll spare you the 33+ hour labor with over 4 hours of pushing and the physical difficulties that I had afterward. Who gets put on bedrest after labor? This girl right here!



But fast forward to the present and my baby, yes my baby is starting kindergarten.

It's going too fast. In the blink of an eye he went from a tiny infant that demanded everything from me to this incredible amazing unique thoughtful little boy with a heart of gold and a mind full of creativity.

He amazes me every day with some invention or saying or act of kindness.

I'm finding that one of the most difficult parts of parenting is letting go. And I'm not going to lie, this milestone by far is one of the hardest that I've dealt with. And I'm sure there will be more that are harder that this one.

But this is where I am at the moment.

I'm not ready, but I know I have to be. And for him I will be.




Writing is one of my passions, and I'm stepping out there on faith to follow my dream. If you like this blog or this post, please take a moment to share it with friends. 

Share this on Facebook?


Vote For Me @ The Top Mommy Blogs Directory







Please Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you make a purchase using the affiliate link.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Adfilic Bluetooth Stereo Portable Wireless Speaker Review and Giveaway

I love music and streaming music through various apps on my iPhone. But with the case that I have on my phone, it sort of blocks the speakers a little. I can hear, but it can be a little muffled. So when I heard about the  Adfilic Bluetooth Stereo Portable Wireless Speaker  I jumped at the chance to try it. I was a little nervous since there really wasn't a lot of instructions on setup. I mean it had the usual pictures of this button does this etc, but there really wasn't a lot of documentation with it. So I was a little apprehensive at first.  But it didn't take me too long to realize that I didn't need a lot of instruction. It was pretty much straight forward. Charge it. After it was charged, turn it on. I went into my connections on my iPhone. It immediately found it, paired, and I was good to go.  I did get a little confused on which button was volume up (and down). But after a little trial and error with that, I've had absolutely zero iss

What Summer Taught Me

This Summer has been a big learning experience - for both Lil Man and myself. Who knew that an amusement park could be such a learning experience for both of us. I watched as my little boy, all on his own, climbed stairs among strangers, learned how to wait his turn, slide down a water slide, and do it over and over again. I watched as other kids shoved him out of their way, cut in front of him as he stood patiently 'waiting for his turn'. Groves of bigger kids kept cutting in front of him, and I held back and gave him time to respond. This for me was a learning experience. See, people have to have room or space to grow. So I learned how to let go, let out the leash a little, and give Lil Man some space. The first time the kids pushed him aside, he really didn't know what to do. After a few minutes of this, I did intervene. I told him to get in line. Take his turn, and when it was his turn he was to go. And the next time as other kids pushed past him, it only took a few

Rejection

You'd think as many times as I've been rejected in my life that rejection wouldn't hurt anymore. Really, I can't count the number of times that I've been rejected, or slighted, or been on the receiving end of cruel words. I'm almost 40 for pete's sake. Rejection shouldn't bring tears anymore, but it still does. It just seems like I've been faced with it a lot lately. It started with the Running and has seemed to carry over into other parts of my life. I have spent most of my life on the sidelines watching other people. That's what happened with the marathon.   Once again, I'm on the side as others do things that I want to do. I trained. I had to have an unexpected surgery. I got injured. I couldn't run. It happens. It isn't the end of  the world. But what many don't realize is that there are numerous times in my life that I am on the sidelines, watching, wishing I was the one 'out there' - not the one watching. . But