Today's Words Of Glass

We aren't known for our 'holiday' plans as we usually don't have any. But last minute, I got a message from a friend today wanting to know if we wanted their tickets to the circus for today. I ran the idea past Hubby, thinking we'd probably just stay home and get things done around the house, but he said sure, let's go. We quickly got things in gear, got dressed and out the door to get the tickets. I am so glad we did. What a fun day! Lil Man enjoyed it (although he did get tired before it was over).  It's been awhile since we've had a family outing that was just purely for fun. I don't consider getting groceries as a family as a 'fun family outing.'.  :) We ended our fun circus trip with a stop by the the local ice cream shop. Lil Man is still wearing his chocolate ice cream face. I'm sitting on the deck, enjoying the sounds of Hubby and Lil Man working on a project.  I do believe this is a true feeling of contentment.

God, is it too much to ask? I'm trying. I see my son, and I don't want him to be like me. I don't want him to be the one on the outside looking in, wanting to join, but instead is just watching. Because that's me. I want so bad to be included, to be invited, yet if I am invited, I'm so painfully shy that saying 'yes' is very hard to do. And there are times that in groups of people, I wish the floor would just open up and swallow me because it's so extremely uncomfortable. I don't know what to say. And I don't know how to get past feeling like such an outsider. I'm trying my best to fit in here, to find my way. I don't need five. I don't even need two. God, I just need one friend here - just one. One that gets me. One that will pick up the phone and say, hey come meet me. I would love to spend some time with you, and let's let the kids play. One that I know I could be myself with, that I could express that I was having a hard

Can you believe it? That it's the end of the school year. It just seems like yesterday that I couldn't believe that I was leaving my baby at preschool ( And We Survived) , and now I'm moaning the blues that next week is the last day of our school year. This year has truly been a learning experience for both Lil Man and me. We (both) have grown so much over this last school year. I can't put into words how proud I am of my little boy - how he's overcome his fears to walk into that classroom full of strangers. He's becoming his own little person. And although we at times crash head on over stubborn will, and demanding things be done a 'certain' way, he is truly a pleasure in my life. I worry, as Moms worry about their children. And I'm finding that from the moment I knew his precious life was in my body, that I will always worry for his safety, for his happiness, and for all things that parents worry about. And I'm also finding that I can'

Why does it always seem like the stay-at-homes and the moms who work outside of the home always feel the need to battle it out and put the other one down? Why does it seem like each group is always trying to define that they do more work than the other group? Instead of battling it out why can't the stay-at-homes and the moms who work outside of the home realize that each person is equally important? I chose to stay at home. It was a choice that I was fortunate enough to be able to make. But I don't have the right to judge nor do I want to the put down the moms who choose to work outside of the home. I don't think that they are doing anything less for their kids than I am by being home. Just like I don't feel that they are doing anything more for their kids by working outside of the home. But what gets me is the fact that people feel they have the right to judge or even have an opinion as to why a woman chooses to stay home and work or a woman chooses to work outs

Do you suffer from it? Mommy guilt that is... I know that I do from time to time... and lately it's been more yes than no when it comes to Mommy Guilt. Could I be doing more? Am I doing the best that I can do for Lil Man? Should I be doing this different or that different? Does he respond this way because of what I'm doing (or not doing)?  And I know it's time that I step back, and just take a moment to breathe. I know that I put a lot of pressure on myself. I know that I am very hard on myself when it comes to some things. And I'm having to just take a step back and re-access. I am not perfect. I will never do everything 'just right'. And there are so many different definitions of 'right' anyway. Opinions are like rear-ends. Everyone has one. But what I do know is that I am trying my best to do the best for my son. No one ever said parenthood would be easy.

As you know, Lil Man and I love to read. And I had the opportunity to read Joosh's Juice Bar: The Blue Banana Berry Adventure.  It's such a cute little book about Mo and Coco and their rain forest friends. They travel into the Tropical rain forest in search of more strawberries because Joosh's Juice Bar ran out. Instead of finding strawberries, they come across a forbidden area with a Do No Enter sign. Instead of following the sign, they enter instead. I won't give away the ending, but let's just say they learn that actions have consequences. I found this children's book to be super colorful and fun. It re-enforced eating healthy, and it also showed the consequences of disobedience. I also liked that on the pages there were little mini storylines to also follow in addition to the main story. This is a cute book that was a pleasure to read.