Skip to main content

Mommy Wars

Why does it always seem like the stay-at-homes and the moms who work outside of the home always feel the need to battle it out and put the other one down? Why does it seem like each group is always trying to define that they do more work than the other group? Instead of battling it out why can't the stay-at-homes and the moms who work outside of the home realize that each person is equally important?

I chose to stay at home. It was a choice that I was fortunate enough to be able to make. But I don't have the right to judge nor do I want to the put down the moms who choose to work outside of the home. I don't think that they are doing anything less for their kids than I am by being home. Just like I don't feel that they are doing anything more for their kids by working outside of the home.

But what gets me is the fact that people feel they have the right to judge or even have an opinion as to why a woman chooses to stay home and work or a woman chooses to work outside of the home. 

I think in the end both groups just want to feel validated for their work. I know that before I had Lil Man I would have performance reviews. I would have coworkers come up to me and say you do such a great job. Or my boss would tell me how needed and important that I was to him or her. Or how I handled the situation properly. And I will be honest, that is one of the things about staying at home that I do miss. It's my personality. Maybe it's my character flaw. But I miss sometimes feeling validated. I missed that pat on the back of you did a great job today. I don't normally get that by being a stay-at-home mom. But there are many things that I do get that moms who work outside of the home probably don't get.

And it is a gripe of mine that both groups feel that they need to try to make it seem as if their group does more work than the other group. What difference does it make?!? Yeah, I might get 'time' at nap to get caught up on things. But chances are, most people who work outside the home get a lunch break or a pee break. I don't get either of those. Just like those who work outside of the home don't get a 'nap break'. And I know that soon my 'nap' breaks will come to an end...

We all as parents work hard. Whether you are staying at home and dealing with the tantruming toddler nonstop most of the day or whether you're in the boardroom giving a presentation or typing up minutes or whatever your daily duties may be. Maybe you are the boss at work and you are extremely overwhelmed by your day? The point is we all work, both groups the stay-at-home moms and the moms who work outside of the office. And in my opinion what we need to do is stop putting each other down and start lifting each other up and realizing that we're all parents with the same goal.

In my opinion, we are equals.

We are trying to do the best that we can do our children and our families.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers


  1. I've been a SAHM mom, a WAHM, a single working mom, and a married working mom. They are all hard and have challenges, and it's not uncommon to look at your life and think you've drawn the hardest lot. I think it's important that as women, we make our own choices without caring what those around us think. Only you know what is best for you. I personally look at others and assume they are doing the very best they can with what they have. Great post! Enjoy that little man of yours. :)

  2. You have to decide what is right for you and your life. No one can tell you what is best for your family.

  3. I have never hated on a stay at home mom or a mom that works outside the home. I have been both and they each have their own challenges and rewards.

  4. It's hard to be a parent, period. I don't think I've dealt with anyone on either side who has truly downplayed the difficulty of the other role.

    We all like to complain, though, and sometimes the urge to defend one's own difficulties can make it seem like someone is trying to "one-up" another person when really it's all about both sides venting. If someone is complaining about parts of being a working parent and coveting your "free" time during naps, don't be defensive that they are somehow making it seem like being a SAHP is easy. If someone is complaining about parts of being a SAHP and wishing they had professional feedback, don't take it to mean that they think being a working parent is easy.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What Summer Taught Me

This Summer has been a big learning experience - for both Lil Man and myself. Who knew that an amusement park could be such a learning experience for both of us. I watched as my little boy, all on his own, climbed stairs among strangers, learned how to wait his turn, slide down a water slide, and do it over and over again. I watched as other kids shoved him out of their way, cut in front of him as he stood patiently 'waiting for his turn'. Groves of bigger kids kept cutting in front of him, and I held back and gave him time to respond. This for me was a learning experience. See, people have to have room or space to grow. So I learned how to let go, let out the leash a little, and give Lil Man some space. The first time the kids pushed him aside, he really didn't know what to do. After a few minutes of this, I did intervene. I told him to get in line. Take his turn, and when it was his turn he was to go. And the next time as other kids pushed past him, it only took a few

Adfilic Bluetooth Stereo Portable Wireless Speaker Review and Giveaway

I love music and streaming music through various apps on my iPhone. But with the case that I have on my phone, it sort of blocks the speakers a little. I can hear, but it can be a little muffled. So when I heard about the  Adfilic Bluetooth Stereo Portable Wireless Speaker  I jumped at the chance to try it. I was a little nervous since there really wasn't a lot of instructions on setup. I mean it had the usual pictures of this button does this etc, but there really wasn't a lot of documentation with it. So I was a little apprehensive at first.  But it didn't take me too long to realize that I didn't need a lot of instruction. It was pretty much straight forward. Charge it. After it was charged, turn it on. I went into my connections on my iPhone. It immediately found it, paired, and I was good to go.  I did get a little confused on which button was volume up (and down). But after a little trial and error with that, I've had absolutely zero iss


You'd think as many times as I've been rejected in my life that rejection wouldn't hurt anymore. Really, I can't count the number of times that I've been rejected, or slighted, or been on the receiving end of cruel words. I'm almost 40 for pete's sake. Rejection shouldn't bring tears anymore, but it still does. It just seems like I've been faced with it a lot lately. It started with the Running and has seemed to carry over into other parts of my life. I have spent most of my life on the sidelines watching other people. That's what happened with the marathon.   Once again, I'm on the side as others do things that I want to do. I trained. I had to have an unexpected surgery. I got injured. I couldn't run. It happens. It isn't the end of  the world. But what many don't realize is that there are numerous times in my life that I am on the sidelines, watching, wishing I was the one 'out there' - not the one watching. . But