Today's Words Of Glass

Just when I think that it can't hurt anymore, that the pain has dulled from a sharp stabbing pain to a dull ache, and it's an ache that to this day has never gone away, the pain, the stabs, the searing come back. And it hurts all over again. ( There Are Times You Can't Stop The Tears)   The holidays seem to make it worse, probably because the holidays are over commercialized with happy families every where. When we all know that some people have that, but many struggle with family get-togethers for the holidays. Those without family seem to long to be with family. And often those with family long to be away from family and seek some quiet time.  But it's during these times that no matter how hard I try to push it away, the truth is the hurt is there. And I have to remind myself that I am stronger than this. I can't allow myself to focus on the hurt but on the good. Think of Lil Man and how he counted (FINALLY) past 3 today. He skipped 5 and made it to 10, b...

Kid gets flu. Kid gets pneumonia in addition to the flu. Kid stops eating/drinking. Kid almost dehydrates. Begin the hour by hour watch about having him admitted to the hospital. Mom gets low grade fever. Mom's fever keeps rising. Mom develops a hacking cough. Kid starts having watery explosive poops to the point that it goes up the back and down the leg at the same time. Mom is busy constantly trying to clean up the kid and keep him comfortable. Kid will drink but not eat. Kid will eat but not drink. Kid poops more. Mom's head feels as if it is about to explode. Mom is dizzy - too dizzy to be safe home alone with kid. How is it possible to have this much snot? Dad has to miss work to come help. Mom sleeps. Kid sleeps. Dad sleeps. More poop. Much more poop. Then there is vomit, followed by more poop. Mom gets her heart broken in a way that somehow has wound up hurting more than other heart breaks. Let down. Disappointed. Mad that she allowed herself to open up to people and ...