Today's Words Of Glass

In my last post ( Where Has The Time Gone ) I'm sure you could gather that sending Lil Man off to kindergarten isn't an easy thing for me to do. This week was orientation. He met his teacher ( which he really liked - I did too ), along with his principal ( Nice guy. He knows how to command the room ). Possibly his bus driver ( not sure on that one ) but he did get to ride the bus for the very first time, see his room, and find his seat. Overall, it was a positive experience for both of us. And he is excited for the first day of school. In fact, he asked yesterday why we had to wait so long for the first day of school to get here ;) I plan to keep my tears in check until he's on the bus, then I'm sure they will flow ( for awhile ). It's not easy.. this letting go... trusting someone else to take care of my child in the way that I would take care of him......

As he kisses me on the cheek, and gives me a hug, Lil Man says "Momma, I love you so much. Love you more than school."  I know that's his way of saying he's going to miss me when he goes to kindergarten this year. Kindergarten, how did that happen? I remember when Hubby and I were trying to conceive. I honestly never thought I would be able to have children. I had tried my best to prepare myself for that scenario. We talked of fertility options. We even went and got 'checked out', but I just couldn't do it. I knew that emotionally, I just wasn't at a place to take that route. The fertility Dr had suggested

At first she wasn't my favorite - we have 3 (dogs). And when I met Sally, I wasn't sure how to approach her because it took her awhile to warm up to me. She kept her distance, even growled a time or two, but she was Hubby's baby. And in time, she became part of my family too. And I learned to understand her, and love her. We buried her this week. It was a gut wrenching family burial where Hubby wrapped her in an old family blanket that we brought home from Texas, placed her in front of Shorty ( her life-long partner ) and let him tell her good-bye. And he did. I've never watched a dog tell another dog good-bye before. But he looked her over, smelled her over, looked her in the face , and then stepped back for Hubby to take her. My heart was broken as I watched him. It was almost more than I could take. Hubby gently cradled Sally's body where he then buried her along with Lil Man's help.

Can you believe it? That it's the end of the school year. It just seems like yesterday that I couldn't believe that I was leaving my baby at preschool ( And We Survived) , and now I'm moaning the blues that next week is the last day of our school year. This year has truly been a learning experience for both Lil Man and me. We (both) have grown so much over this last school year. I can't put into words how proud I am of my little boy - how he's overcome his fears to walk into that classroom full of strangers. He's becoming his own little person. And although we at times crash head on over stubborn will, and demanding things be done a 'certain' way, he is truly a pleasure in my life. I worry, as Moms worry about their children. And I'm finding that from the moment I knew his precious life was in my body, that I will always worry for his safety, for his happiness, and for all things that parents worry about. And I'm also finding that I can...