Today's Words Of Glass

Motherhood - wow - need I say more! Yep, our little one is here. He didn't have an easy time getting here either. But after a grueling 33 hour labor, he made his arrival. He was late term premature but weighed 7lb 10.8 ounces. I tried my best to prepare myself for motherhood. I read the books. I flipped through the magazines. I went to child birth classes. But when he was brought to my room for the first time after coming back from NICU and left with us, I realized I could read all the books in the world and it wouldn't prepare me for this. I have never felt such love and fear at the same time. Here he was, this little person that I am responsible for... I am his mother - my husband his father. I was on strict bedrest, unable to get out of bed for any reason.  As I watched the love in my husband's eyes as he picked up his son, I knew we could do this. We wouldn't know all the answers - no parent does. But we had this. Our little one is two months old today. It...

Is it normal to feel so out of control while pregnant? It's like I don't have control over anything in my life. My emotions aren't just a simple roller coaster of up and down. It's more like up, down, sideways, upside down, right side up. I'm dealing with issues that I thought I had already dealt with - such as being so far away from my family. Maybe part of this adjustment is that I am no longer working. I have to say that I am very surprised at how much I love being home. I think part of the reason I feel this way is that physically I just feel so bad. So I've been able to sleep when I want to sleep and not have to stick to a schedule. But not working is yet another change in my life. I don't think I expected to feel so bad while pregnant. I still have a little over 10 weeks to go and my entire body has been aching for awhile now. The pain in my back is increasing. It went from nagging pain in my ribs to now sharp stabbing pain when I try to breathe. I...

Wow, I didn't realize that it has been so long since I have written anything! I've had a lot of changes since my last post. As most of you know, I'm pregnant. After several years of trying, my husband and I are finally excepting our first child. This week has been an eventful week to say the least. I had hoped to work up until my due date. As it got closer, and I got bigger, I realized that maybe my due date wasn't a reality. But I had hoped to work closer to the date at least. But the pressure and stress of work put too much toll on my body. My dr put me on medical leave immediately as of this week. In addition I failed my 1 hour glucose test and had to go through the 3 hour test. By the way, that test was awful! But thankfully I passed the 3 hour test. So now it's Friday and time to spend with weekend with HG. Little by little we are getting the house de-cluttered to make room for the little one. It's hard to believe that he'll be here in less then 3.5...

I had no idea that it was possible to love someone so much. I can't count the number of times that I look over at HG and think "this is exactly where I want to be". Whether we are fishing, sitting on the couch watching television or simply doing nothing - this is where I want to be - with the man that I love.  With our 3 Year Anniversary coming up, I've been doing some reflecting on the last few years of my life. I would describe them as amazing.  I married an incredible man I am a very blessed woman. 

As the alarm went off yesterday, HG turned over, kissed me and told me happy birthday. My day didn't go as planned since I was sick. But I can't complain. I am loved by so many people. I just got back from my favorite ice cream place. I still feel awful. I haven't been this sick in a long time. I've wanted a hot fudge sundae all day. I finally gave in and went and got me one. It was worth leaving the couch to go get one. Now I just need to get well so I can get back to working out! - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I have the best Mom in the world. Actually, I'm a little teary-eyed as I type this. It feels like forever since I've seen Mom & Dad & my sisters. But my Mom made me homemade chocolate chip cookies and sent them OVERNIGHT to me. Just the fact that she would go to the trouble to do this fills my heart with love. But to know what all she is going through and she took the time to do this demonstrates just how incredibly loved I am. Not to mention the fact of just how awesome they taste. My Mom is an excellent cook and she's an awesome Mother. I hope someday to love my children as much as she loves hers. I'm not so sure that I will be as giving. Then again, maybe I would be. Tula is very spoiled. Then again so is Harris in some ways. So maybe someday I would make a good mother. Right now, I'm going to enjoy my last few days at 36, eat my cookies and be thankful that I have parents and family to love - and a husband who puts up with me day in and day out.

HG has been busy today working on the new stove insert. I've spent most of the day curled up on the couch with a heating pad. I am feeling a little better now, but not my best. I'm going to have to skip my work out tomorrow which automatically puts me in a foul mood. I really want to run at the gym, but I don't think I can. Maybe I can get some work outs in near the middle to end of the week. I have so much housework that needs to get done, but I just don't want to do it. Where is my motivation?!? Maybe I'll find it next weekend (ha). The weather was warmer here today. I'm glad. I'm ready for all of the snow to melt. It's slowly getting there. But there is still a lot of snow that has to melt. I'm frustrated with my body right now. I'm having a difficult time of putting what I want to do on hold for a year as I try to conceive. I'm not sure if anyone understands this. I don't think I even understand what I'm feeling right now - ot...