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The Girl I Don't Want To Be

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As I sat there engrossed in one of my favorite TV shows, I couldn't help but let the tears flow. Lil Man was asleep. Hubby was at work. And I was taking a few moments out of this very hectic day for me.

But there she was, everything that I didn't want to be, yet oddly we were very similar. And as I watched the drama unfold, I couldn't help but picture myself in her situation. And although I am very aware that this is a fabricated television show, it suddenly felt a little too real.

Because it's often way too easy to let 'life get in the way', to let relationships suffer from lack of attention, to get self absorbed in our own problems and feelings instead of looking at what others may be feeling. It's easy to slip into 'Me, Me, Me and how we have been mistreated (or feel that we have)' when we don't see how maybe our actions are being perceived by others.

People say that each day we have a choice. But it comes down to each moment in our day we have a choice. Do we get upset over spilled milk or do we say 'It happens' and show compassion while helping to clean it up? Do we blow up when someone doesn't handle a situation in the way that we think it should be handled or do we show a little compassion, extend a little grace and forgive where forgiveness is due?

I feel as if someone just threw a glass of cold water in my face and said "Wake up". I saw the girl that I don't want to be.



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  1. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2014 at 8:52 PM

    Sometimes the more we try not to be her we end up being her. This is a very touching poem

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  2. KariJanuary 24, 2014 at 10:07 PM

    It sounds like a thought provoking TV show - it's amazing how seemingly mundane things can trigger quite profound realisations. I'm glad you know what you do and don't want and thing we all need those 'wake up' calls at times.

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  3. UnknownJanuary 25, 2014 at 7:19 AM

    Hey, good for you! You had an opportunity to learn something about yourself then do better. Sometimes watching TV is a good thing! At least you were open to glimpsing yourself. Like you say here, so many of us are so self-absorbed. Not everyone would have had the insight you had.

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