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Making The Most With What You Have

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It's no secret that I struggle this time of the year. I miss my family very much, I hate the fact that my son is growing up for them in front of the camera and in videos because that's the only way they get to see him.

I hate that they hear secondhand the cute things that he says instead of hearing it for themselves. So no this is not an easy time of the year for me. It compounds every heartache into a compressed six weeks of Thanksgiving and Christmas. And in addition to those feelings, it seems as though everyone else that I know is busy with their own family - and rightfully so. But while they are busy, our once busy schedule pretty much becomes nonexistent. 

We are left to our devices to try to fill the void. I'm trying to make happy holiday memories for the three of us. Doing the best that I can do, and at times still feeling as if I am failing miserably.  

Hubby is gone most days out of the next 10 days. So Lil Man man and I are on our own. I'm thinking this non-crafty mama is going to become very familiar with Pinterest, and Lil Man and I are going to try to do some Thanksgiving crafts and decorations. Hey we're the only one that sees our house anyway so it doesn't really matter if it looks terribly bad right?  :-)


Although it's just the three of us I do plan to try to cook this year. And since Lil Man  likes to help in the kitchen, I think he and I will do most of the cooking together since Hubby is out of town. It won't taste like my mom's or my grandmother's and how I wish I could sit around the table with them and share a meal. God the pain sometimes does feel unbearable - the gaping hole. I think sometimes my heart is literally going to break with the ache. But I know it's not. And I know that I have to focus on the positive and the now. I have to make the most of the precious things that I do have - our family of 3. 

And although it may seem silly to go to so much trouble to create a meal for just the 3 of us, I'm trying to recreate my fond memories and my husband's while creating memories for my son that I hope someday he will cherish. I hope he will look back, and while his friends may be talking about how they spent time with grandparents, aunts and cousins, that he remembers with fondness how he and I made paper turkeys, cooked together, and the three of us sat down as a family and enjoyed being together. I hope that he doesn't feel the hole in my heart. I hope his heart feels full. 

I'm trying God. I am trying. Please help me, cause the truth is, I can't do it without You.  





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