There Are Times You Can't Stop The Tears, No Matter How Hard You Try

I am convinced that there are some hurts that never heal - that there are some pains that never fully go away - that you will love people who will in the end leave you - that people will judge as if it is your fault they left you when the truth is they left you, not the other way around. There will be times that you can't stop the tears, no matter how hard you try. There will be times that you have to push the thoughts away and keep moving forward because if you let yourself get sucked into the black hole of darkness known as the pain and hurt it will suck you in and ultimately destroy the good that is currently in your life. 

And people will pry. People will put on a caring persona and ask "What's up with so and so? You mean you don't talk to her anymore?" Some are sincere. Some are just fishing for gossip - most people like to hear a dramatic story of how you once had a family who was a part of your life - and now they are no more. Living but dead. 

I have learned that people will believe what they believe. I have learned that in the end, it doesn't really matter what they think or which "reality" they choose to believe. 

Because in the end, it is you who has to deal with the circumstances and the pain. But I ask something of you who are reading this... stop judging. Stop blaming. Stop saying "Well if it were me, I would do this and that". Because the reality is, it isn't you. And you don't know what it feels like to love the Living but Dead people in life. You don't know the hurt, the pain, the sorrow. It's like being at a funeral every day.

But I'm also convinced of something else.... I know is that I am stronger than most people give me credit for.