Skip to main content

How My Heart Aches

For all my moaning about Thanksgiving, it turned out quite nice. Lunch, well, in my opinion, lunch at the Casino near the race track with TVs blaring on every table, was NOTHING like Thanksgiving. And for me, this year,that was what I needed. Because I think if it would have been more like Thanksgiving, I would have been more upset that I wasn't cooking for my family like I had wanted too (Happy Holidays My ...)

And I miss my family - not just my immediate family, but my grandparents. I'll look at Lil Man and sometimes my heart will just ache because I know they would have loved him so much. And I know they would enjoy the funny antics that we've gone through (and will go through). And I ache that he won't get to know them like I did. And the holidays, well the holidays can make the ache a little deeper. It can make the loss feel a little greater. And it's hard not to let the sadness overwhelm the happiness sometimes. So as most holidays, I shed some tears. But I also tried to focus on the happy moments. 

All Lil Man talked about was chocolate cake (or chocnit cake as he calls it). I'm not sure why since he's never been a fan of cake. But when I mentioned Thanksgiving, he mentioned cake. And he definitely got his cake, along with his brownie (and mine since he took it off my plate), and a chocolate chip cookie. 

The day after Thanksgiving, we went and got our tree. I'll admit that Lil Man and I were super excited. He wasn't really sure what we were getting into. But I think my excitement was contagious. 

We got to the tree farm, and picked out our tree. The actual walking around and choosing the tree didn't thrill him. But helping Daddy get the tree down the hill to the truck seemed to peak his interest. 

And he was totally into putting up the tree, the lights, the ornaments and the star on top. He bounced up and down and talked during the entire process. Hubby and I couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. And I got a glimpse of him last night just standing and looking at it. 

And here comes the personality of my Lil Man. I have this little M&M ornament. He kept wanting it and kept saying "open please". I kept telling him that it wasn't M&Ms, but just an ornament. He dropped the subject. 

But then an hour or so later, I saw him drive by in his little coupe car. He took the ornament off the tree and sped off. Ha....

Oh how my heart aches.... at the love for this little boy... at the love for my husband who loves us in return, for my family who keeps in touch daily through technology, and for the loved ones who are no longer with us. My heart is full... abundantly full.. and for this I am thankful.

(If you like my blog, please take a moment to click the banner below so I can get a vote)
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory


Popular posts from this blog

What Summer Taught Me

This Summer has been a big learning experience - for both Lil Man and myself. Who knew that an amusement park could be such a learning experience for both of us. I watched as my little boy, all on his own, climbed stairs among strangers, learned how to wait his turn, slide down a water slide, and do it over and over again. I watched as other kids shoved him out of their way, cut in front of him as he stood patiently 'waiting for his turn'. Groves of bigger kids kept cutting in front of him, and I held back and gave him time to respond. This for me was a learning experience. See, people have to have room or space to grow. So I learned how to let go, let out the leash a little, and give Lil Man some space. The first time the kids pushed him aside, he really didn't know what to do. After a few minutes of this, I did intervene. I told him to get in line. Take his turn, and when it was his turn he was to go. And the next time as other kids pushed past him, it only took a few


You'd think as many times as I've been rejected in my life that rejection wouldn't hurt anymore. Really, I can't count the number of times that I've been rejected, or slighted, or been on the receiving end of cruel words. I'm almost 40 for pete's sake. Rejection shouldn't bring tears anymore, but it still does. It just seems like I've been faced with it a lot lately. It started with the Running and has seemed to carry over into other parts of my life. I have spent most of my life on the sidelines watching other people. That's what happened with the marathon.   Once again, I'm on the side as others do things that I want to do. I trained. I had to have an unexpected surgery. I got injured. I couldn't run. It happens. It isn't the end of  the world. But what many don't realize is that there are numerous times in my life that I am on the sidelines, watching, wishing I was the one 'out there' - not the one watching. . But

Adfilic Bluetooth Stereo Portable Wireless Speaker Review and Giveaway

I love music and streaming music through various apps on my iPhone. But with the case that I have on my phone, it sort of blocks the speakers a little. I can hear, but it can be a little muffled. So when I heard about the  Adfilic Bluetooth Stereo Portable Wireless Speaker  I jumped at the chance to try it. I was a little nervous since there really wasn't a lot of instructions on setup. I mean it had the usual pictures of this button does this etc, but there really wasn't a lot of documentation with it. So I was a little apprehensive at first.  But it didn't take me too long to realize that I didn't need a lot of instruction. It was pretty much straight forward. Charge it. After it was charged, turn it on. I went into my connections on my iPhone. It immediately found it, paired, and I was good to go.  I did get a little confused on which button was volume up (and down). But after a little trial and error with that, I've had absolutely zero iss