I look in the mirror and what do I see? One stressed out flabby stomached Momma looking back at me. Ever had one of those times in your life where you are stressed about pretty much every area of your life?
Well that's where I find myself this week.
Exercise: I decided that I needed to up my cardio to try to burn more calories and increase my endurance. So, what do I do? I up my cardio. What happens? I start having some issues with my knees. I had to actually go get a brace and take a few days off from exercise. I've got in a few runs this week, but they haven't been the runs that I had hoped to get in. And my cardio has decreased instead of increased. So I've burned less calories than more.
Well that's where I find myself this week.
Exercise: I decided that I needed to up my cardio to try to burn more calories and increase my endurance. So, what do I do? I up my cardio. What happens? I start having some issues with my knees. I had to actually go get a brace and take a few days off from exercise. I've got in a few runs this week, but they haven't been the runs that I had hoped to get in. And my cardio has decreased instead of increased. So I've burned less calories than more.
Nutrition: For several days I watched exactly what I ate, and stayed within my calorie 'range'. I had even lowered my calories in an attempt to drop a few pounds. What happened? I gained 2 pounds.
Freelance work: I am very thankful to have the work, but with the increased activities with Lil Man, I've struggled this week to get everything done. I'm working before Hubby goes to work, and I'm working after he gets home. And I'm mentally and physically tired.
Lil Man: I try my best to get him around other children as much as possible, but it breaks my heart to watch him around his peers knowing that he wants to do things, but is too shy or insecure to walk up and interact. I've shed many tears over this, and I'm afraid there may be many more to come.
Friends: I had to laugh a little when I typed that. You'd think after 6 years of living here that I'd have a network of friends, but the reality is... people are busy with their own lives and their own friends. Yes, if I were in a major pinch, I think I could find a few people who would temporarily help me out. But as far as having someone to call up and chat, or get together with, the reality is most people are either just not interested or too busy/consumed with their own lives to join into mine.
And all of this has left me feeling lonely, frustrated, angry, worried and sad.
Yes, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. And I'm trying to pull myself out of this pit and focus on those things. But right now, I think I'm going to grab a box of kleenex and just have a good cry.
Friends: I had to laugh a little when I typed that. You'd think after 6 years of living here that I'd have a network of friends, but the reality is... people are busy with their own lives and their own friends. Yes, if I were in a major pinch, I think I could find a few people who would temporarily help me out. But as far as having someone to call up and chat, or get together with, the reality is most people are either just not interested or too busy/consumed with their own lives to join into mine.
And all of this has left me feeling lonely, frustrated, angry, worried and sad.
Yes, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. And I'm trying to pull myself out of this pit and focus on those things. But right now, I think I'm going to grab a box of kleenex and just have a good cry.
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