Skip to main content

Lack of Self Confidence

I really do have this character flaw of needing other people to like me or accept me. It really is a nuisance. Do you have any idea what it's like to go through life daily and constantly wonder what people are thinking about you? Not so much the way that I look, although I have always been self conscience about my looks. Scars on my face, crooked teeth, and now gray hair doesn't always help me lean toward self confidence in the looks department.

But in most areas of my life, I struggle with this character flaw.

When it comes to my running, although I am training for my first marathon (second time training), I still, at times, have a hard time considering myself a 'real' runner. Seriously? I just ran/walked 14 miles on the treadmill last week. I've run two 20 milers this past year. I'm getting up before dawn to get in training runs. Runs that I might add aren't lazy do nothing runs, but real kick your rear into gear runs. But when I'm around more accomplished runners, I feel my inward self shrinking. And I have a hard time acknowledging that I'm a 'real' runner. I feel like such a newbie.

This character flaw also spills over into my parenting. Trust me, I know I'm a real parent. But I can't help but wonder sometimes if I'm liked by other mothers. Do I talk too much? Do I talk too little? Are they judging me? Should I be doing more to help my son with his speech delay?

Most people really don't know how hard I try in every area of my life. And most days I do give it my all. So I really wish I could get over this character flaw of needing and wanting others' approval for my actions. I shrink at the thought of disapproval.

And it makes it me mad. It makes me mad that I care so much. It makes me mad that I let it bother me the way that it does. Because in the end, it's my life. It's me who is accountable for my actions - no one else.

I think the first step to overcoming this character flaw is to truly accept myself. I am so very hard on myself.

I have my moments. I have my days. I have my setbacks. I am a work in progress.


Popular posts from this blog

What Summer Taught Me

This Summer has been a big learning experience - for both Lil Man and myself. Who knew that an amusement park could be such a learning experience for both of us. I watched as my little boy, all on his own, climbed stairs among strangers, learned how to wait his turn, slide down a water slide, and do it over and over again. I watched as other kids shoved him out of their way, cut in front of him as he stood patiently 'waiting for his turn'. Groves of bigger kids kept cutting in front of him, and I held back and gave him time to respond. This for me was a learning experience. See, people have to have room or space to grow. So I learned how to let go, let out the leash a little, and give Lil Man some space. The first time the kids pushed him aside, he really didn't know what to do. After a few minutes of this, I did intervene. I told him to get in line. Take his turn, and when it was his turn he was to go. And the next time as other kids pushed past him, it only took a few

Adfilic Bluetooth Stereo Portable Wireless Speaker Review and Giveaway

I love music and streaming music through various apps on my iPhone. But with the case that I have on my phone, it sort of blocks the speakers a little. I can hear, but it can be a little muffled. So when I heard about the  Adfilic Bluetooth Stereo Portable Wireless Speaker  I jumped at the chance to try it. I was a little nervous since there really wasn't a lot of instructions on setup. I mean it had the usual pictures of this button does this etc, but there really wasn't a lot of documentation with it. So I was a little apprehensive at first.  But it didn't take me too long to realize that I didn't need a lot of instruction. It was pretty much straight forward. Charge it. After it was charged, turn it on. I went into my connections on my iPhone. It immediately found it, paired, and I was good to go.  I did get a little confused on which button was volume up (and down). But after a little trial and error with that, I've had absolutely zero iss


You'd think as many times as I've been rejected in my life that rejection wouldn't hurt anymore. Really, I can't count the number of times that I've been rejected, or slighted, or been on the receiving end of cruel words. I'm almost 40 for pete's sake. Rejection shouldn't bring tears anymore, but it still does. It just seems like I've been faced with it a lot lately. It started with the Running and has seemed to carry over into other parts of my life. I have spent most of my life on the sidelines watching other people. That's what happened with the marathon.   Once again, I'm on the side as others do things that I want to do. I trained. I had to have an unexpected surgery. I got injured. I couldn't run. It happens. It isn't the end of  the world. But what many don't realize is that there are numerous times in my life that I am on the sidelines, watching, wishing I was the one 'out there' - not the one watching. . But