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The Naked Truth About Body Image

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Let's just say that before I had Lil Man, I definitely had my insecurities. I can't remember a time that I really felt comfortable in my own skin. That statement is pretty sad if I think about it.

Well, I take that back - when I was pregnant - other than feeling miserable because I couldn't breathe - I felt comfortable with my growing boobs and belly. I didn't worry about looking 'huge'. I was carrying a life inside of me. He needed to grow, and I needed to grow with him.

But then he came out,
and I was no longer carrying a life. I no longer saw my body as something that was doing something for someone else. Instead, I saw stretched out saggy skin, hips much wider than before, a booty emerging as I'd never had one before, and breasts that never went back to the way that they were before being pregnant.

I used to stand in my closet and cry. Nothing fit - nothing. It was a very dark period for me concerning my body image.

Five years later, I wish that I could tell you that I'm that strong confident woman without any issues with body image.. but.. well... that's not the case.

But I lost the baby weight.. then gained 15lbs in the last year. I started putting on weight when I was marathon training in 2013 and it just kept creeping up.

Long story short, I've recently lost some weight, but I've stopped to take a long hard look at me.

Why am I so critical of myself? Why do I focus on my flaws instead of my accomplishments? Why do my eyes immediately go to my stomach (problem area)? I don't allow others to tear me apart like this, why do I allow myself? 

The truth is that I shouldn't.. and if you do this to yourself.. neither should you.

I know that I will always be able to find something about my body that I won't like. But instead of focusing on what I don't like, I'm making an effort to focus on what I do like. I'm no longer hiding from the mirrors at the gym. In yoga class, I used to make sure that I was no where near a mirror.

Now, I make sure that I can see myself so that I can check my form - and instead of focusing in on my muffin top, I now notice the muscles emerging in my arms, the strength in my legs, and the fact that I am getting stronger.

I do believe that body image may be something that I will always have to contend with, but I'm determined to find peace with myself, determined to love every part of me, and determined to be happy with me.

Do you struggle with body image?


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